S T R E S S,
Is an extremely heavy, unbelievably overweight word. It pulls you down, it tears you up. It weighs on you so much you hardly think, you hardly move, you hardly understand. It can actually be one of the most commonly used word when you are taking your o levels, or even just your exams.

I have been wondering if i am working hard enough to feel the stress coming. I tried to reason with myself, so i often find myself stucked. I died of guilt alot of times, thinking that i am not studying enough. If you think i am super hardworking, you might wna take a second look. I think the guilt and everything weighs me down. At times i am okay, at times i just stare at the piece of work in front of me.

Many times i'd wanted to blog the things down. But when you go to blogger.com sometimes it doesnt really come out as what you've thought. I considered writing it for awhile. But, not very feasible for me. I tried to find the words many times; but failed. But today, even as i made my way to church, i stood there with my hands lifted up. God might not have been there, but today He gave me the words at that place. Today i went to church, and i know that even though i've run away many times, i find myself back to where God first found me. And He was there all along at the same place. Many times i gave empty promises that i wouldn't run again, and even though many times i break these promises, God forgives me, He brings me back. He shows me the light, and today i see so much more. He showed my what i had been feeling all along, He lifted it up, He showed me that i wasn't alone. Today God surpassed all the guilt that pulls so deep of me, the doubt and the uncertainties.

I dontknow how i am really going to study. I dontknow if i am going to do well in my prelims, in my o levels. Even as i sit there typing words that speak praises of God, i cannot say surely that i wouldnt try to run away again. But i know before every step that i take God already laid it for me. Today even as P.Andy preached, i know the message that God wanted me to grasp through the preaching. I know God's love truly was and is still here with me.

I've finished my chinese oral. I dontknow how i did. But even if i got a merit, i know i did it victoriously because God was there with me - every single word i'd spoken.