What am i like in your memory?

Today is me day. This is why i like to read so much. Because when i read it brings me back to me alone, with only me to account to, with only my thoughts that matters.

I just finished reading My Sister's Keeper for the i dontknow how many time. It was a new feeling reading it. It's amazing how the same words could now have different meanings, how i could see things in a different angle than when i did the last time, how i try to read between the lines and see the other side. I like how it makes my mind works, and how the story touch my heart like it was real.
It was quite an emotional read.

& since its me day, i started thinking again. What if someone you thought wouldnt, die tomorrow. What would go through your mind? What would be the words you wished you say?

I used to think what kind of memories would i see if i get to be another person for a day. I always guess if that person would have somewhat similar encounters as mine. But i realise that i wouldn't know because i am simply not that person. What memories that person have is his and his alone, and mine are mine alone.

When the issues of memories comes up, i think about people alot.
These days i think about people on my rides to school and back home. Of the people i love and the people i miss and the people i wish i had spend more time with.
I wonder if they think of me the way i think of them, i wonder what is me like in their brains.

Mostly i think about Gene. I wonder how it is like for her at down-under. If things might have been good, or would it have been better if she stayed.
I think about the people i know in yishuntown, do they read through the cards i write like i do?

Sometimes we have questions with no answers, answers with no reasons. We walk around in circles. We try to find the routes.

I keep asking what is life really about, what is me in the future really like. & i get so caught up asking that i let it take over my world, making me miss the time that pass before me, the time i could have spent much happier with the people i love.

But this is life, full of surprises.
Which is why sometimes i get caught up between the me that is me and the me i try to be, the me that loves God and the me that loves me, the me that tries to do the right things and the me that just want to do what makes me happy, the me that tells me not to give up and the me that says its enough.

This post, might seems like it has nothing to do with the book.
It might seems like it doesnt make sense at all.
But its me day today, and that is all that matters.