I would usually conclude the year to be easy and it might be a little too early to say this (since we have 2 more days before 2010 is really over) but this year has really been a tough one. The things that go past and the thoughts and struggles that came along, so much that i don't even remember. It has been a ride, not totally bad because i have learnt and smiled and be glad. I have seen how i view things differently and how i understand it. I have learnt about the me that i am and come to terms with it, to realise i am not the ideal others build or i build still still be happy. When we race against your brain to fight for the words and come out with the figures, when you truly truly can smile. Most importantly for the relationships i have built. We all lose and win, i am thankful for the people arnd me, but i have also realised how me have turned down some others and how i have chose to not put in effort. I am sad that sometimes i get comfortable with the distance during transition, and i let it get in the way and do nothing about. This is getting hard, but i guess it happens and sometimes we cannot.

I guess one of the significant thing is about how God has came and left and how i grow less faithful and less into faith and that i don't even say thank God for all that has happened anymore. I do not doubt the faith of people arnd and the one i once had but now i cannot see myself in that position and i am tired and i ignorant of the grace there for me and in this moment it doesn't matter.

There isn't really anything to put across, not that i am a sad person as this is a tough year or that every year deserves reflecting.

I guess it is just that time is nothing - as always. When a year come we welcome it, when it ends we talk about it. Nothing changes except for the second that follows that last when we countdown. The only thing time does is that it groups our memories our experiences our ups and downs for us. Guessing it makes me worried and anxious and doubtful. So it is best to say it is here and now that matters.